Updated: Oct 10, 2020
It's not about putting my TRUST in my oncologist, surgeon or chemo that I'm now allergic too and can't go on with...It's about TRUSTING GOD'S WILL and know HE holds my book in HIS hand before I was placed in my mother's womb. He told me on 10/20, "DO NOT BE ANXIOUS about the weakness of your body. Instead see it as a prelude of my infusing energy into your body." He always tells me "DO NOT BE ANXIOUS" right before the ax falls (you think I would KNOW that by now and get prayed up)! 10/21 my Dr. tells me he wants to stop the chemo that is killing my cancer due to my allergic reaction. WHAT? I panic and refuse instead of trusting the path God has me on. Doc didn't realize he was dealing with a smart nurse who ALWAYS has PLAN B in emergencies, but honestly, I was NOT prepared with Plan B now! Doc discusses it with me and agrees to let me TRY plan B, which I am sure today he knows will go to Karen's Plan C and then right back to first his plan:; discontinue Herception, and get to slash and burn, still not telling me how this metastatic cancer is going to get annihilated when protocol calls for 12 months of Herceptin chemo! I sleep on it all and wake up depressed when when Psalm 23. comes to me again. Here it is with my 2 cents in (-).
The LORD is MY shepherd; I shall NOT want (ANYTHING) 2He makes me lie down in green pastures (REST IN HIM, KAREN.); He leads me beside quiet waters. (SANITY) 3He restores my soul; (I AM HIS AND HIS ALONE) He guides me in the paths of righteousness (THROUGH HIS BLOOD ONLY) for the sake of His name. (TO GLORIFY HIM ONLY) 4Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death;(YEP, I AM THERE) I will fear no evil, (TRYING LORD, TRYING!!!) for You are with me; (HE SHOWS ME DAILY!) Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. (EVEN WHEN I SEE IT AS THE AX FALLING) 5You prepare a table before me (NO CHEMO NAUSEA AND DIARRHREA IN HEAVEN!) in the presence of my enemies. (I WAS HOPING THE SUCKERS WOULDN'T BE THERE!) You anoint my head with oil; (HEALING OIL-HERE OR THERE!) my cup overflows. (WALK IN THE SPIRIT OF HEALING, KAREN.) 6Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, (IT HAS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE, I REMIND MYSLEF) and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (FOR ME THERE IS NO DEATH!!! I WILL LIVE ETERNALLY WITH MY LORD!!! ) . And sudden, ALL FEAR IS GONE AGAIN and the Lord reminds me of this>